Finding Your Calling in Life
How I was drowned with unhappiness & confused about what my passion was.
The urge to look for something yet not know what
That feeling of looking for something yet not knowing what that “thing” is would be the highest form of irritably. The best way to understand the emotion I’m talking about would be similar to going out to buy something, you wouldn’t buy the first thing you see, but you also don’t know what you're looking for, seeing each store or brand trying to catch your attention but it just isn’t clicking with you, so you move on. To others, it seems like I’m lost or moving without any direction, and others with concern thinking I’m switching too fast from one thing to the next. In reality i wasn’t picky but honest with myself on what i truly liked. I’ve seen many of my friends go into despair because of not enjoying the things they’ve encountered, as not everything you find would be your taste, but for me it was sense of adventure & hope. It was stressful only when situation would call for stability. However, I kept it to myself because I didn’t know how to explain this feeling of looking for something but not knowing what without looking like a madman.
Deciding It’s Enough
The day finally came when I said enough, I need answers maybe advice. I was a mess, time is ticking ruthlessly & I would be moving from one hobby to the next without any progress. It’s when I received a phone call from a long-time friend who wanted to chill & grab a bite to eat.
I didn’t want to go, but I threw my pride to the side as I was desperately seeking answers. Fast -forward after telling him the issues i was struggling with he then explained to me that I did not find “my calling” To pursue what I love despite odds, despite my situation.
What Is A Calling?
“Finding your calling” is an old saying of discovering your hidden passion that one would secretly be good at. I say “secretly” because many don’t realize their own talents and decide to pursue other things, finding out they have no passion for it, and actually aren’t happy but some still decide to remain in that profession because of the status it brings.
I was shocked, but I was also in relief. Thanks to my friend I decided to pursue what I love without stopping, one of which is writing. I’m not the best writer, but I do have many thoughts and love to write as a creative output. I also figured that many are also in the same predicament as I was, lost in silence. Couldn’t understand what this feeling was about, but i happen to find out later that it was a subtle inner conflict between my heart & my mind, something that my conscious awareness couldn’t understand but interpret it as unhappy or depressed.
Trying to seek answers that was within all along
The answers i was looking for was within me all along, here’s what i mean.
When your searching for something your first instincts would be to find external resources to solve your inner problems right? I tried & it worked but somethings missing, like a puzzle waiting to fill in the spot, you search deeper to realize the external resources where assisting you to redirect your focus within.To find out that there was your own internal resources that can solve your inner problems.
The most profound experience, realizing this this urge of looking for something was coming from within as if it’s trying to catch my attention. Well now i paid attention, and it’s changed things for the better. I’m started to be in the present, not wondering of to the future with my thoughts or memories of the past. The Here & Now awareness of what would i want to do made me find my calling. It’s bizarre how i wasn’t able to see things like this until i’ve went through my inner struggles. Searching for something that couldn’t be explained. My Calling in life, it makes sense why they would name it “ calling” as if my destiny my purpose in life is actually calling from within me, and it would be up to me to answer the call & i did.
The Scoop Finale
The final scoop of my story and why i decided to share it, it’s because of how badly i’ve wished for someone that i could relate & an advice like i’ve received from my friend. I guess it’s my way of returning the good that was given to me and pass it along to those going through similar dilemma. My calling is being a content creator, writer, i’m not necessarily good yet but like all things it takes time & practice. I guess the moral of my story would be take that leap of faith & trust that you know what you like, not others think you like. Throw the idea of time out, the idea of money out, and focus on the present. You would then fully embrace the beauty of everything & what ever you decide you do in your free time that’s productive, be consciously aware of it, know that you picked it without anyone telling you, work on it & repeat.
You would find bliss & happiness that you’ve been seeking this whole time from just being in the present & doing things you are passionate about. After some-time you realize that your exceptionally good & others recognizing it. I don’t know how, or why, but let’s just say that the universe has our back when we decide to pursue what we like despite the odds & situation.
